she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
