All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
