what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
