I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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