Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize