For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
