Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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