She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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