its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
