But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
