I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
