I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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