She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
