I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So apparently I’m into choking now
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
