We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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