Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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