after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
