David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just invented taco cereal.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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