even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize