): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
