she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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