I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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