in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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