I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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