So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
