So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
