My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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