They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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