Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
