is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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