You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize