let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
