He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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