What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
