when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
