Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize