Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
