I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
