i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
