if you like me you must not know who I am
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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