and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
