Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
