i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
