...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
