She's JV to your varsity
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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