Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
