What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm at about main and main street
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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