Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
another moral hangover. fuck.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
