i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
