i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
