YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
