There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize