Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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