It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
