"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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