those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Are we still banned from the library?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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