What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
