Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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