So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
