I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
