So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize