Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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