For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
