Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize