I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
