i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
