I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize