My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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