he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
