If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize