Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Who died my cat blue again?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
