Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
