Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
